Question from a coach – How do I wind down a session with grace?

Question - How do I wind down my sessions politely when a client keeps talking?

Jennifer – A lot of coaches struggle with cutting off a long-winded client or, as stated in the ICF core competencies, "partnering with the client to manage the session time". Yes, that is an actual expectation, so you want to be good at it.

I have a simple practice - From the beginning, I train my clients to know that when I pause for space and then ask a particular closing question, it indicates that our session time is up. So, wherever we are in the session, and my client hears me pause and ask this question, he/she knows that we’re wrapping things up. For example, I might say, “So Bob, let me ask you…” or, “Bob, let's stop here” or “Let me ask you, what value are you taking away from today’s session?”

Whatever that closing question is, as long as you leave some space for a breather or a pause, it’s a wonderful way to end a session. That's the way I do it.

Some coaches will say, “So Bob, in the remaining 10 minutes of our session, how would you like to spend our time?” or “In the 10 minutes we have left, tell me what you're committed to doing.” By saying this, you are marking the time for them.

A good way to set them up for that is at the beginning of the session you can say, ”Okay Bob, we've got 45 minutes. What would you like to work on in our session today?” That sets up the time expectation for the session. Still, it is your job to manage the time. The client isn't going to be in charge of managing the time. However, you can partner with a client to do it properly. Maybe you say something like, “Perhaps we pause here and I leave you for further reflection after the session with this question.” And then you can ask a nice open-ended question to leave them with. Follow that with, what they are taking away from today's session and you nailed it!